Understanding Your Anger
By Pauline El Kallassi Mansour | 26 Jul 2013 | DEALING WITH EMOTIONS
Anger is a human emotion that does not have any moral nature in itself. Like other emotions such as sadness, joy, and fear, it does not make people good or bad.

Nevertheless, in society people do not easily accept any expression of anger. Assigning a moral nature to this emotion implies that people should not feel angry at all. However, anger is a complete normal and healthy reaction towards a real threat or unjust situation. As an instinctive reaction to physical threat, it allows the person to defend oneself and fight. Hence, it is necessary since it is a survival mechanism.

Individuals need to perceive anger as a normal emotional state. Being angry does not make us good or bad individuals; it is rather the way we express our anger that makes it acceptable or not.  

There are different ways in which human beings deal with their anger. In my analysis, I believe there are 4 types of anger:  destructive anger, inhibited anger, displaced anger and constructive anger.

Destructive anger is the type of anger that is expressed in a destructive manner. This anger blinds the person and renders his actions irrational. It controls the individual and makes him lose control over himself and the others. As such, the person lashes out on everyone and everything turning his anger into intense fury and rage.

Easily angered people have an unreasonable belief that things should always go their way. Some cannot delay satisfaction while others feel psychologically threatened all the time. The latter feel they need to defend themselves from an upcoming threat coming towards them. As such, their destructive anger is a defense mechanism that they unconsciously use to protect themselves from being hurt. 

Avoidant individuals usually deny their anger instead of being in contact with it. They suppress their anger and direct it inwards. They convince themselves and others that they are not angry at all. It is very unhealthy to inhibit one’s anger and disregard it. Anger building up inside the person can cause a lot of health problems and many times causes depression.

In other cases, suppressed anger is not pushed inside oneself but is rather displaced outwards on someone or something.  The person for example might kick the door or punch the wall.  He feels irritable and angry towards anyone or anything that comes in his way. An angry mother (from work) might yell at her kids whom have nothing to do with her anger. It is important in this situation that the person becomes aware of the real cause of his anger.

Constructive Anger is the type of anger that is expressed in a constructive and healthy manner. The person is able to be in contact with his anger and recognize the reasons behind it. Nevertheless, he does not act out on it impulsively.  Such individuals are able to calm themselves down and find the appropriate time to express out loud what they perceive is unjust or wrong.  Those individuals are tuned to their emotions and understand what activates their anger. They can express out loud what is bothering them and demand things to be corrected.

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