Behind Fear of Intimacy
By Pauline El Kallassi Mansour | 26 Jul 2013 | RELATIONSHIPS
Individuals differ in the types of attachment patterns that they form with others. In romantic relationships, some individuals constantly seem unable to get close to others or let others come too close to them. Sometimes, they are not aware of that; and thus they choose partners that are emotionally unavailable. This works out for them in a way since they are uncomfortable being intimate with someone.

However, deep inside they feel something is not okay. They are not happy nor fulfilled. They cannot open up to the other. They prefer distance. The more hurt they are, the more they shut themselves down. They feel that their relationships are always doomed to failure.

The real issue with avoidant individuals is their fear of being seen vulnerable. It is fear of intimacy. You may ask what intimacy is. Well, it means just as the word says it = into me see (intimacy).  Intimacy in a love relationship is opening up yourself (feelings, needs and desires) to the other person.  Being unable to expose one’s inner self to the other implies that the person does not fully accept who he is yet.

Fear of intimacy is also fear of seeing yourself as you really are.  If you are unable to get close to someone, do not push yourself hard. First of all, try to be kind to yourself and open up deep inside.  Try to be in touch with your emotions and what your really are going through. This might be really scary and difficult for people who are not friends with their emotions.

Psychotherapy helps individuals be in contact with their feelings even the most difficult and buried ones. This process is very beneficial since it allows the person to free himself from the emotional wounds and past that affect his current relationships.

Individuals who are unable to open their hearts to themselves will not be able to open their hearts to important others. They will always end up in unsatisfying relationships.

Being able to be intimate also means being compassionate towards oneself and loving oneself for all the qualities and faults that we have. Only when you are able to be intimate with yourself, will you be able to be intimate with another person. This is very important.

What Do You Think? Post & Share your Comments! Remember to respect other's opinions and feelings.
 
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